This is how you outwit and look better than your professional skater friend
first paint your nails so they look pretty, even though they'll be under gloves, you'll KNOW they look good
then eat a good meal, you'll need your energy so you can skate longer than her
then coordinate and wear fur, even if you fall down all eyes will be on you
if you need to, wear sunglasses, they'll make you look younger
take advil before you go, this way it won't hurt so much
don't forget to bring lip gloss, that way you'll look fresh in all your pictures
look at her show off her new figure skates
don't forget to take unflattering pictures, tell her she looks great knowing you've cut her head out of the picture
I knew it...already threatening me with her skate guard
pose whenever possible and look cute
when getting on the ice for the first time since you were a teenager, exude confidence, like, no problem
while she asks, "do my feet stink" just to show off how flexible she is
do the same
ta da! we did it, here I thought what a leisurely night skating would be, had no idea what an actual workout it would be
however, when she complains about how tired she is, play along and pretend you are as well
then go home, have a coffee and drambuie and wonder if you can do it again tomorrow!
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