Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Why Suck It Up When You Can Bust It Up - Day 1 - Skating

This is how you outwit and look better than your professional skater friend

first paint your nails so they look pretty, even though they'll be under gloves, you'll KNOW they look good

then eat a good meal, you'll need your energy so you can skate longer than her

then coordinate and wear fur, even if you fall down all eyes will be on you

if you need to, wear sunglasses, they'll make you look younger

take advil before you go, this way it won't hurt so much

don't forget to bring lip gloss, that way you'll look fresh in all your pictures

look at her show off her new figure skates

don't forget to take unflattering pictures, tell her she looks great knowing you've cut her head out of the picture

I knew it...already threatening me with her skate guard

pose whenever possible and look cute

when getting on the ice for the first time since you were a teenager, exude confidence, like, no problem

while she asks, "do my feet stink" just to show off how flexible she is

do the same

ta da! we did it, here I thought what a leisurely night skating would be, had no idea what an actual workout it would be

however, when she complains about how tired she is, play along and pretend you are as well

then go home, have a coffee and drambuie and wonder if you can do it again tomorrow!


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